a little less

(Note: This was written for a desktop and formats badly on a mobile phone.)

Maybe I could try a little harder to be a little less
suck in that gut pin up that skin oil those surgery scars but
the makeup can’t conceal the way recent trauma aged me
and I can’t always avoid eye-contact

What I could just do is speak a little softer
less opinions whining contradictions and fuck shit cunt words
the problem’s that the stuff piles up under my tongue then
spews out sudden dishevelled tangles of my truths

Perhaps I should take my clothes off less often
stop the cock sucking pussy licking arse bruising and forgetting
who I’ve fucked blurred boundaries are my comfort zones the
bearable lightness of being spread wide open

It could be that I’m tacky for loving in multiples
spreading my too much too thin too many partners a gluttonous
abundance needy greedy helpless I just can’t shut love up by
covering my ears and screaming only one name

Maybe I could try a little harder to be a little less
or maybe I just need a bigger house.

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Shame is Boring

Recently I started making my own little youtube videos and though I’m still feeling awkward as I learn to navigate a new medium, I am finding it to be a very exciting, raw and direct means of communication and self expression. I feel tremendously excited but also incredibly vulnerable, as I allow my imperfections and awkwardness to be seen.

But I am proud of this video particularly.